i’m not like other girls
i was born with glass bones and paper skin
every morning i break my legs, and every afternoon i break my arms
at night, i lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep
do vampires just use their teeth to make a puncture wound and then suck, or are their fangs like a straw
i havent slept in three days
I guess I can retire now.
I’M LAUGHING SO HARD. THAT’S IT GUYS, THAT’S ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW.
relationship goal: a relationship
Only real 90s kids remember waking up in the middle of the night seeing girls gone wild commercials on your tv
cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas
me: you said i got one phone call